Monday, September 19, 2011

LUCY! You got some 'splainin' to do!

Subtitle: See the ball. . . be the ball. Lucille Ball, that is

Here's my story, and I'm sticking to it:
The new and improved Ricardos and Mertzes -- (it ain't in black and white anymore, baby; we've added some color!) -- took a road trip.
I played the role of Lucy, which meant that The Diva was Ethel by default. She inhabited the role, too. Believe me, she put the kick in sidekick, while I was Lucy doing all the 'splainin' to Ricky and Fred, er, I mean, Sarge and The Doc.
Our goal was Number 147 on my Bucket List: drive up Highway 1, which traces all the scenic ins and outs of the Pacific Ocean coastline. We planned to stop here and there willy-nilly wine tasting, or whatever else our hearts desired, but instead of starting out wine and roses, it sparked guns and roses:
Sarge and The Doc had the nerve to make The Diva and I ride in the back seat!

I said, "What is this, 1950?" That's for little old blue-haired ladies wearing black orthopedic shoes with their nylons knotted at the knee."

"Well," said Sarge, eyeballing my gray hair.

"Fine," I said, "but only if you two wear matching powder blue polyester all-in-one jumpsuits."
Score 1 for the men.
Sitting in the back seat heading up the coast, The Diva and I had our purses primed to spend at the Camarillo Premium Outlets. Somehow, Sarge passed the exit and then, oops, couldn't maneuver the car over for the next five miles.
Men, 2; Women, 0.

As we passed Neiman Marcus's Last Call teary-eyed, we soon rolled into Santa Barbara for an overnight stay (next week's post). The following day, we toured Hearst Castle in San Simeon (last week's post).
On the way up to Santa Cruz wine country (a future post), we stopped at Ragged Point Inn for lunch. Nothing ragged about this resort or the restaurant. The burgers were HUGE, with beef supplied by the cattle kept at Hearst Castle.
We then drove through Carmel hoping to catch a glimpse of Clint Eastwood, but by that time I was so dizzy from all the twists and turns of the road, I slept the through the whole town.

Big Sur was beautiful, though. There's just something about living in a place with mountains on one side and the ocean on the other; it's like the best of both worlds.
Our ulitmate destination was Half Moon Bay (another future post), a quaint little town you run smack into before you get to San Francisco. There, Sarge tried to have The Diva and I arrested for indecent disclosures, so he could throw us into their one-room jailhouse.
Flipping the script, I tried to leave him in the hands of the monks at the San Miguel Mission.
Score 1 for the ladies!

It was quite the adventure riding the roads with our best friends. I hope you delight in reading about it as much as I did suffering through -- abiding it -- enduring -- I mean enjoying it.

This is me rammming Number 147 off the side of Bucket List road.

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